To:
Brad Blackstone
From:
Sze Min Ng
Date:
January 17, 2017
Subject:
Self Introduction
Dear
Brad,
I
hope that this email finds you well. I would like to take this opportunity
to introduce myself. My name is Ng Sze Min, a year two hospitality business student
from your Career Professional Development II Seminar Group 3. Prior to entering
Singapore Institute of Technology, I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a
diploma in business studies specializing in pure marketing.
Unlike
my peers who come from hospitality backgrounds, I do not have much experience
working in the hotel and tourism industry. However, I have a passion for planning
events. Therefore, I am currently pursuing a specialization in the MICE track. During my
industry attachment last year, I interned under People’s Association where I
was attached to the programs department in Woodgrove Constituency Office. Throughout the four months internship, I gained valuable experiences in planning events for the community and met people from all walks of life. I was also
given the opportunity to spearhead my own event and was involved in planning and
execution of National Day Dinner Celebrations.
Communication
style wise, I feel that I am more of an active listener than a speaker. I am more comfortable in writing to express my thoughts, which explains my creating a personal blog to jot my experiences as a memory book to look back in the future. However, I
am still lacking in terms of oral presentation skills. When it comes to presenting in
front of a large crowd, I still feel nervous and tend to tense up which leads me to forgetting my content at times. However, I felt that this
weakness of mine could be overcome with practice coupled with self-confidence.
Understanding my style of communication allows me to work on my weaknesses and focus on my
strengths. Therefore, I would continue to work on honing my oral communication
skills so as to make effective presentations in future.
Yours Sincerely,
Sze Min Ng
Yours Sincerely,
Sze Min Ng
Dear Sze Min,
ReplyDeleteThe overall introduction of yourself is straightforward and simple. It is easy to read and understand.
I think it is really awesome of you to be of someone whom could still excel in the hospitality course despite not coming from a hospitality course. Also, I think it is really important to have that passion in you for this industry in order to stay and progress.
Just like me, I also have difficulties presenting in front of a large crowd and would prefer to listen than to speak. It is good that you also have a personal blog to pen down your thoughts.
Hope you will overcome your weaknesses in time to come! :)
With regards,
Jasmine
Hi Jazmine,
DeleteThank you for your comments. I believe that we can both improve on our presentation skills with more practice (:
Regards,
Sze Min
Dear Sze Min,
ReplyDeleteGood job on your first post! It is interesting to read about your stint with People's Association, and your email is concise and detailed. Just like myself, I also did not come from a hospitality background and specialized in marketing. I understand how you feel, and feel really happy that you are passionate and keen to learn in this industry.
"I am more comfortable in writing to express my thoughts where I own a personal blog to jot my experiences as a memory book to look back in the future." --> this sentence may be too lengthy and is a bit confusing. Perhaps, you may try to keep your sentences more concise in future so that your readers can understand you better.
Overall, you email is straightforward and interesting to read. I am looking forward to more of your posts in future! :)
Cheers,
Denise
Hi Denise,
DeleteThank you for your comments and I have made improvements to the sentence that you mentioned. I do have a tendency to write in long sentences. However, I will take note to keep it as concise as possible in future.
I look forward to reading your posts too! (:
Cheers,
Sze Min
Dear SzeMin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and yet highly detailed letter. I can see from this post that, despite not being from hospitality business in poly, you have had many rich experiences to date thanks to your industry attachment and the passion for MICE that you have developed. It's also clear that your work experience has influenced your communication skills and your sense of confidence. You certainly have a lot to share with us this term.
Since you want to hone your skills, you've come to the right place. In that regard, and specifically for writing, please see my comments below:
1. Overuse of caps
— …with a diploma in Business Studies specializing in Pure Marketing.
>>> ?
see https://wmich.edu/writing/rules/capitalization
2. Sentence structure (run on sentences)
-- I hope that this email finds you well and I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself.
>>>
I hope that this email finds you well. I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself.
-- However, I have a passion for planning events and therefore, I am currently pursuing a specialization in the MICE track.
>>>
However, I have a passion for planning events. Therefore, I am currently pursuing a specialization in the MICE track.
-- I am more comfortable in writing to express my thoughts where I own a personal blog to jot my experiences as a memory book to look back in the future.
>>> I am more comfortable in writing to express my thoughts, which explains my creating a personal blog to jot my experiences as a memory book to look back in the future. (something like this)
3. phrasing
-- ...I still feel nervous and tend to tense up which resulted me in forgetting my content at times.
>>>
...I still feel nervous and tend to tense up, which leads me to forgetting my content at times.
Despite these minor hiccups, this is a fine informative effort. I look forward to learning more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Brad,
DeleteThank you for the comments. I have noted the learning points and made changes to my post accordingly.
- Sze Min
Thanks for your effort!
DeleteDear Sze Min,
ReplyDeleteYour blog is easy to read as it is written in a clear and structured form.
Although you do not have a background in hospitality, you performed well in school and I believe you can do so in future trimesters. Moreover, by interning at People's Association, I believe it have helped you gain new insights of the hospitality industry.
We have similar weakness in our communication and I do agree we must practice more because "practice makes perfect". Lets work hard together and overcome our weaknesses.
Best,
Claudia Ng
Hi Claudia,
DeleteThank you for your comments. Let us work hard together then! (:
Best,
Sze Min
Dear Sze Min,
ReplyDeleteOverall, I thought it was a very heartwarming and sincere post about yourself and your background! It's nice to know that we came from the same polytechnic, Ngee Ann Polytechnic, and that I can totally relate because I was not from a hospitality related background as well, but I'm confident we will perform and excel just as well.
Being an active listener definitely has plentiful of benefits, which is an aspect that I try to work on at times and do hope to learn from you in that area :) I believe throughout our interaction period in the CPD session, we would be able to learn from each other's strengths and improve on our weaknesses through friendly reminders!
Best,
Hazel Lim
Hi Hazel,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. Let us work hard together in improving our weaknesses! (:
Best,
Sze Min